Give me a room full of strangers and automatically, you get a girl who don't talk and stay numb the whole period of time. I'm scared to socialise and i'm naturally shy in really big groups of people. I've been getting better but recently, i just saw a girl who made a photo status update at an event that requires lots of debating and talking and being open and this made me feel like all the effort to up the skills i have made was for nothing compared to what she currently has.
I feel so inferior and weak right now and i know i shouldn't be but still, it hurts when you can't get what you want. And i wasn't even invited to this event! She and i are part of the same prog so i'm sure only a selected number was invited... I'm kinda sad about this but then again, what can i do?
The only thing i can do at the moment is try hard... much much harder to be able to socialise very well at all means possible. I'm kinda depressed.. It's 12.55AM here in the morning, and i'm up to blog about this, this is how much depressed i am.
one day, i'll be ready
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