31 January 2012
30 January 2012
stress bubbles
The Exams are fast approaching and i am scared stiff. Last night was the start of my insomnia and i hope none would be coming soon any time... I just hope everything stays perfectly normal, that i won;t freak out and start crying for no apparent reason.
I'm that sort of person. I don't take stress easily which is a weird thing since my friend gave me a keychain that shows my birthdate and says that i am calm under pressure. What shit. I break under pressure. I don't work well under pressure. I just can't do it.
I hate that i cry and run to my friends or mum or sister when i feel so depressed and sad. I hate that i cause a burden to them. I hate that my troubles might affect them in some way sooner or later. I hate that i let the people i love worry about me. I just hate it. but i can do nothing about it. I try to not let it get to me, i'm trying really hard to be more relaxed but it's really hard. I can't just let go that feeling.
Sometimes, i wish there's a temp off button for me.
I'm that sort of person. I don't take stress easily which is a weird thing since my friend gave me a keychain that shows my birthdate and says that i am calm under pressure. What shit. I break under pressure. I don't work well under pressure. I just can't do it.
I hate that i cry and run to my friends or mum or sister when i feel so depressed and sad. I hate that i cause a burden to them. I hate that my troubles might affect them in some way sooner or later. I hate that i let the people i love worry about me. I just hate it. but i can do nothing about it. I try to not let it get to me, i'm trying really hard to be more relaxed but it's really hard. I can't just let go that feeling.
Sometimes, i wish there's a temp off button for me.
28 January 2012
How many i will date in my entire lifetime
huh, let's hope that's true cause i haven't even have a crush right now that i'll have a chance to date with...
I love it (page) Facebook
27 January 2012
24 January 2012
i'm not smart
I don't like harping on things and nag them at people until their ears bleed but that's who i am. I need to voice my troubles to people to release stress. It's not fun being me. Some people look at my life and think i'm so lucky and smart and stuff. I'm not. I'm stupid. I have a lower PSLE score than you can ever imagine, had absolutely no friends either. I was alone for the whole 6 years in that horrid place. I had to learn to depend on myself in that primary school, bullied sometimes too. The last day there, i went to a large clearing right outside the school and literally looked up at the sky. I thought to myself that i was free.
I went on to Secondary School, full of hopes and i knew it was my chance to start anew and never to remember that Primary School. I made friends, friends i still keep and am loyal to. A few are no longer part of my life anymore but i am grateful for them leaving me the memories. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. In my first year, i glided through the examinations to go up from NT stream to NA stream, a better stream that enables me to take O levels.
Sec 2 and 3, i glided through the work as well, just practicing more. Then i reached sec 4. I still had a 'heck care' attitude and had to even attend a 'parents teachers meeting' until one day during recess, a classmate said casually to his friend, "Short people are fierce while tall people are bimbos."
I was furious (i'm about 1.72m tall) when i heard that and when i went back home from that day onwards, i started studying. I started doing colourful notes for my chemistry and geography, my stronger subjects. Went on to the weaker ones later on. It was until the mid-term exam i think, that my grades showed a great improvement. Lots of As if you know what i mean. Teachers gave me recognition then, praised me etc and this really made my day. I continued on to do that. I thrive under recognition i realise now.
This could be due to the fact that i was ignored by teachers and classmates for the whole 6 years i had in Pri school for me to end up this way. I don't know. It could have stemmed from there. Anyways, i loved the praises that teachers lavished me with and i strived to do better. Probably being called a Bimbo, wasn't that bad after all.
From then on, i worked harder than i had for the past dunno how many years of my life to get to poly. I haven't stopped since. Probably, this is why i have this easily stressed persona to the extent that i had to go counselling a few months ago. I've since then, took it easy but still had in mind, the objective to succeed in poly and leave this place with a fabulous diploma in hand. Ganbatte Ne!
I went on to Secondary School, full of hopes and i knew it was my chance to start anew and never to remember that Primary School. I made friends, friends i still keep and am loyal to. A few are no longer part of my life anymore but i am grateful for them leaving me the memories. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. In my first year, i glided through the examinations to go up from NT stream to NA stream, a better stream that enables me to take O levels.
Sec 2 and 3, i glided through the work as well, just practicing more. Then i reached sec 4. I still had a 'heck care' attitude and had to even attend a 'parents teachers meeting' until one day during recess, a classmate said casually to his friend, "Short people are fierce while tall people are bimbos."
I was furious (i'm about 1.72m tall) when i heard that and when i went back home from that day onwards, i started studying. I started doing colourful notes for my chemistry and geography, my stronger subjects. Went on to the weaker ones later on. It was until the mid-term exam i think, that my grades showed a great improvement. Lots of As if you know what i mean. Teachers gave me recognition then, praised me etc and this really made my day. I continued on to do that. I thrive under recognition i realise now.
This could be due to the fact that i was ignored by teachers and classmates for the whole 6 years i had in Pri school for me to end up this way. I don't know. It could have stemmed from there. Anyways, i loved the praises that teachers lavished me with and i strived to do better. Probably being called a Bimbo, wasn't that bad after all.
From then on, i worked harder than i had for the past dunno how many years of my life to get to poly. I haven't stopped since. Probably, this is why i have this easily stressed persona to the extent that i had to go counselling a few months ago. I've since then, took it easy but still had in mind, the objective to succeed in poly and leave this place with a fabulous diploma in hand. Ganbatte Ne!
In the Past
was courtship as easy/difficult as right now?
I can't really decide which 'era' is better. I mean, with the present, there is the internet, phone calls, skype, msn and many many more while in the past, you can only go by letters or straight to their doorsteps for the girl to know that the guy's interested. But then again, the many many many years ago, females have no right to who they want to marry and if they're unlucky enough, they'd end up with some plump, old guy who looks like a perv or something. Now, girls have control over their own future, their own destiny but we end up being preoccupied with our daily work and responsibilties and forget about that until at the end of the day when you come back home and feel like you need someone to hold your hands or watch a movie with you cuddled in his arms while he strokes your hair.
It's not like i'm desperate, hello, it's just that sometimes, i feel like i need a hug from a strong set of arms when the world seems so ugly.
I can't really decide which 'era' is better. I mean, with the present, there is the internet, phone calls, skype, msn and many many more while in the past, you can only go by letters or straight to their doorsteps for the girl to know that the guy's interested. But then again, the many many many years ago, females have no right to who they want to marry and if they're unlucky enough, they'd end up with some plump, old guy who looks like a perv or something. Now, girls have control over their own future, their own destiny but we end up being preoccupied with our daily work and responsibilties and forget about that until at the end of the day when you come back home and feel like you need someone to hold your hands or watch a movie with you cuddled in his arms while he strokes your hair.
It's not like i'm desperate, hello, it's just that sometimes, i feel like i need a hug from a strong set of arms when the world seems so ugly.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. 'Men are here'
I love watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. They're such a great cast, lots of chemistry, rapport blah blah blah. You know what i mean. I love all of them but i'm forced to rank my top 3 favs, the first would be Chandler M. Bing, his sarcastic remarks and humorous personality is so damned funny. 2nd Fav would be Ross Geller, his expressions never fail to make me double up with laughter. 3rd, Phoebe. She's weird yet cute in a funny way.
All in all, i really love all of them. Too bad, there's no more of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and there's not even any possibilities of them coming together for a movie. Come on! at least a thanksgiving episode?
I love this scene especially :D
Joey and Chandler enters the room with stern faces
Chandler: Men are here!
Joey: We make Fire. Cook Meat.
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing no get invited back!
All in all, i really love all of them. Too bad, there's no more of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and there's not even any possibilities of them coming together for a movie. Come on! at least a thanksgiving episode?
I love this scene especially :D
Joey and Chandler enters the room with stern faces
Chandler: Men are here!
Joey: We make Fire. Cook Meat.
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing no get invited back!
Hilarious Japanese Ghost Prank!
It's so hilarious. If i can be part of this in the future, it'd be so damned FUN!!!
Cost of Vietnam Trip
It's a lot of money. I expected 800+ but this is too much. It's actually more than the Hong Kong trip and i'm not that freaking rich. There should be some negotiations done or something cause i'm not paying that amount. You're crazy teacher, i hate you.
23 January 2012
Miss Singapore World
I watched this talk yesterday about Singapore's Beauty Pageant. Why not many Singaporeans care or bother about it etc.
I remember a time when i used to be so excited to watch Miss Singapore contestants on TV. With ooohs and aahhhhs when they walk gracefully down the stairs with their beautiful flowly gala dresses and dazzling heels. It used to be so much fun.
Then there was Jade Seah. She was remarkable, she had wit and was extremely beautiful but the award instead, went to someone whom i can't even remember the name. Jade Seah herself had a star quality that the panel of judges missed. She won my support from the moment she strutted across the floor in her bikini with such confidence. I paid attention to her face and it looked like she was really committed to this pageant. Obviously her star quality was not left unrecognised as she went on to become a TV host and actress.
From that pageant onwards, i felt that judges were not looking hard enough and it sort of lost its attractiveness. The judges always give the winning positions to the one with a bigger bosom, that's what i felt. Giving Miss Singapore World one more chance, i watched as judges chose the bigger breasted ladies, i'm not saying that's wrong but what about the other girls? You're not giving them a chance just cause they have smaller breasts? Are you freaking kidding me? Compare Jade Seah with the lady that won and you'll understand. I mean come on, that's how you judge beauty? By the size of their breasts?
I understand that it's a beauty pageant and it's primary objective is 'looks,' to reward the better looking, give recognition for the beautiful and distinguish them from the rest but what we're talking about is Miss Singapore WORLD. You're representing a country for the love of god. She can't possibly have an IQ quotient of 1 can she? You can't have a woman with just looks. She's gotta be able to speak her mind both eloquently and with grace. but what's the use of wit if she's not able to pass even the first round of Miss Universe.
Furthermore, the standards of Miss Singaopore World have dropped. I've seen a finalist of Miss Singapore World 2011 on the talk yesterday along with two other girls. Only one girl was able to speak her mind but the way she way she spoke, sigh... She said 'them' as 'damn'. ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?
I prefer the Manhunt contestants who spoke much more eloquently and i don't mind them showcasing their nice physique on TV. At least there won't be himbos.
I remember a time when i used to be so excited to watch Miss Singapore contestants on TV. With ooohs and aahhhhs when they walk gracefully down the stairs with their beautiful flowly gala dresses and dazzling heels. It used to be so much fun.
Then there was Jade Seah. She was remarkable, she had wit and was extremely beautiful but the award instead, went to someone whom i can't even remember the name. Jade Seah herself had a star quality that the panel of judges missed. She won my support from the moment she strutted across the floor in her bikini with such confidence. I paid attention to her face and it looked like she was really committed to this pageant. Obviously her star quality was not left unrecognised as she went on to become a TV host and actress.
From that pageant onwards, i felt that judges were not looking hard enough and it sort of lost its attractiveness. The judges always give the winning positions to the one with a bigger bosom, that's what i felt. Giving Miss Singapore World one more chance, i watched as judges chose the bigger breasted ladies, i'm not saying that's wrong but what about the other girls? You're not giving them a chance just cause they have smaller breasts? Are you freaking kidding me? Compare Jade Seah with the lady that won and you'll understand. I mean come on, that's how you judge beauty? By the size of their breasts?
I understand that it's a beauty pageant and it's primary objective is 'looks,' to reward the better looking, give recognition for the beautiful and distinguish them from the rest but what we're talking about is Miss Singapore WORLD. You're representing a country for the love of god. She can't possibly have an IQ quotient of 1 can she? You can't have a woman with just looks. She's gotta be able to speak her mind both eloquently and with grace. but what's the use of wit if she's not able to pass even the first round of Miss Universe.
Furthermore, the standards of Miss Singaopore World have dropped. I've seen a finalist of Miss Singapore World 2011 on the talk yesterday along with two other girls. Only one girl was able to speak her mind but the way she way she spoke, sigh... She said 'them' as 'damn'. ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?
I prefer the Manhunt contestants who spoke much more eloquently and i don't mind them showcasing their nice physique on TV. At least there won't be himbos.
22 January 2012
Test is coming soon
The end of semester test is coming soon. I'll probably feel scared and stuff soon. Already felt it right from yesterday. My heart started pumping wildly last night when i realised i'm left with only 2+ weeks and i had to breathe in and out while counting up to 5 each time. It's difficult being me. I get stressed easily and i don't know how to stop it.
All i know is that i have to maintain my grades for this term to least get inside the program that i interviewed for last week. I probably ot inside but they want to see the grades before finalising the people who will be inside the program. Therefore, either i maintain my GPA of 3.8 or something, i'm not getting in whatsoever.
Please relax and Ganbatte Ne!
All i know is that i have to maintain my grades for this term to least get inside the program that i interviewed for last week. I probably ot inside but they want to see the grades before finalising the people who will be inside the program. Therefore, either i maintain my GPA of 3.8 or something, i'm not getting in whatsoever.
Please relax and Ganbatte Ne!
21 January 2012
The Japanese Language
I can speak Malay and Chinese, but not confidently. I learn chinese in school but speak malay at home. The only language i am quite fluent in is (duh) ENGLISH.
I plan to take on Japanese when the new term starts because that's when the language modules come up. I'll grab for the Japanese one and will soon be able to speak Japanese. Maybe the next term after that, i'll choose Malay. I can only speak conversational malay so when it comes to formal talk with my relatives and stuff, i know naught. It'll be great if i can understand Malay news. It's soooo confusing and difficult to understand...
I own a book actually, called Colloquial Japanese. Bought it when i was about 15. Studied 2 chapters of it and have not touched it since. School and other stuff left me preoccupied. Recently, i watch Hanazakari no Kimitachi e and i regained my love for the Japanese language. Whenever i hear Japanese, i'll find the language sooo beautiful... I just fell in love with it and it's country the first time i heard it.
The first time i encountered Japanese, i was in primary 5, age 11. Around that time. My chinese teacher showed it to us in class but it was dubbed in Mandarin. After each lesson, she would hand us a sheet of paper which have questions printed in Chinese about what happened or something. I never grasped the chinese language so i can't really read them. but i can fully understand what i being said. I love all the chinese lessons because of Inuyasha. However, she never showed my class much becasue she was a trainee teacher and let's face it, how many freaking episodes does Inuyasha have? Friggin a lot.
After some time, my sisiter and i purchased boxes 1 to 4 at an offer. She never knew what it was about but i managed to persuade her and she ended up loving it. Inuyasha is addictive. Too bad it's not being noticed by the current teenagers. I feel old...
Anyways, it was then that i encountered the Japanese language. The phrase i like in Inuyasha is Bakka (or something to that effect) cause Kagome sometimes call Inuyasha that :)
Then there's Osuwadi (which means 'sit'). It's always funny to sit Inuyasha being slammed to ground with just Kagome saying that particular word.
Bit by bit, i started to learn japanese through the phrases said in Inuyasha and even purchased that book i said about when i pleaded my dad for the money to buy the book. The best Japanese experience i had up to date though was my trip to Japan. In sec 3, age 15, my school suddenly announced a trip to Japan. It was the first time ever in TWSS to start such a thing. I was ESCTATIC. Initially, i was confused as to the procedures on how to apply but things worked out in the end and i went to Japan. It was sad though that my sister did not get to go. It was luck that i was born a year later than her and that this trip was announced on my year for only secondary 3 students.
Anyways, the next year after that when i was a Secondary 4 student, the next batch of Secondary 3 students got to go. However, there were so many students that an interviews had to be scheduled for some students. In my year, there were no students who had to do that. Quite sad for those who wanted to go, especially my friend who was in Secondary 3 then.
Japan is a beautiful country and i remembered when i was at Narita airport getting ready to go back home to Singapore, a teacher said that my friends and i were lucky to have the chance to come to Japan at such a young age as it was only her first time there, she was around 30 years old.
I love you Japan!
I plan to take on Japanese when the new term starts because that's when the language modules come up. I'll grab for the Japanese one and will soon be able to speak Japanese. Maybe the next term after that, i'll choose Malay. I can only speak conversational malay so when it comes to formal talk with my relatives and stuff, i know naught. It'll be great if i can understand Malay news. It's soooo confusing and difficult to understand...
I own a book actually, called Colloquial Japanese. Bought it when i was about 15. Studied 2 chapters of it and have not touched it since. School and other stuff left me preoccupied. Recently, i watch Hanazakari no Kimitachi e and i regained my love for the Japanese language. Whenever i hear Japanese, i'll find the language sooo beautiful... I just fell in love with it and it's country the first time i heard it.
The first time i encountered Japanese, i was in primary 5, age 11. Around that time. My chinese teacher showed it to us in class but it was dubbed in Mandarin. After each lesson, she would hand us a sheet of paper which have questions printed in Chinese about what happened or something. I never grasped the chinese language so i can't really read them. but i can fully understand what i being said. I love all the chinese lessons because of Inuyasha. However, she never showed my class much becasue she was a trainee teacher and let's face it, how many freaking episodes does Inuyasha have? Friggin a lot.
After some time, my sisiter and i purchased boxes 1 to 4 at an offer. She never knew what it was about but i managed to persuade her and she ended up loving it. Inuyasha is addictive. Too bad it's not being noticed by the current teenagers. I feel old...
Anyways, it was then that i encountered the Japanese language. The phrase i like in Inuyasha is Bakka (or something to that effect) cause Kagome sometimes call Inuyasha that :)
Then there's Osuwadi (which means 'sit'). It's always funny to sit Inuyasha being slammed to ground with just Kagome saying that particular word.
Bit by bit, i started to learn japanese through the phrases said in Inuyasha and even purchased that book i said about when i pleaded my dad for the money to buy the book. The best Japanese experience i had up to date though was my trip to Japan. In sec 3, age 15, my school suddenly announced a trip to Japan. It was the first time ever in TWSS to start such a thing. I was ESCTATIC. Initially, i was confused as to the procedures on how to apply but things worked out in the end and i went to Japan. It was sad though that my sister did not get to go. It was luck that i was born a year later than her and that this trip was announced on my year for only secondary 3 students.
Anyways, the next year after that when i was a Secondary 4 student, the next batch of Secondary 3 students got to go. However, there were so many students that an interviews had to be scheduled for some students. In my year, there were no students who had to do that. Quite sad for those who wanted to go, especially my friend who was in Secondary 3 then.
Japan is a beautiful country and i remembered when i was at Narita airport getting ready to go back home to Singapore, a teacher said that my friends and i were lucky to have the chance to come to Japan at such a young age as it was only her first time there, she was around 30 years old.
I love you Japan!
Super Junior_ Gee live
They're so damn friggin CUTE!!! It was funny when the camera was shooting at Siwon and he did the girly action and chuckled later... i'm fainting....
Korean Kinship Terms - Part 1 (Oppa, Nuna, Hyeong,etc)
Now i finally undertand... I only know oppa. The way it's pronounced is really kinda cute! :)
I have chosen
VIETNAM trip. yup... overall, it'll be good for my portfolio and i won't be wasting a lot of my dad's money going to Hong Kong. Plus, i'd get to see the interesting the interesting culture that they have there. I'll be going to Ho Chi Minh city and taking a 2 hour ride to a certain village there to help with environmental problems and community service.
I really wanted to check out Ocean Park in Hong Kong but i'll have time for that it the future. Not to worry.
I really wanted to check out Ocean Park in Hong Kong but i'll have time for that it the future. Not to worry.
Interview II
OMG! There was a briefing yesterday about the program i interviewed for and you know what?! I found out that there was never gonna be a second cut! It never existed in the first place! They lied to me maybe to calm interviewees down or see what they're like without the objective of entering the program on their mind as well as see their true self.
Anyways, there's not going to be another interview with a PANEL of many many many people watching my every move and waiting for my answers on difficult questions they ask. PHEW!
Anyways, there's not going to be another interview with a PANEL of many many many people watching my every move and waiting for my answers on difficult questions they ask. PHEW!
19 January 2012
The worst athlete, 110m. hurdles
Haha!! Initially i thought that they were children because that's not the professionalism of adults, just hurdling through. HAHA, WTF!!! :D
17 January 2012
Hong Kong VS Vietnam
I have to choose between a Hong Kong study trip and Vietnam overseas community project. Damn it. Many factors have came up and i can't decide which one i want... Someone help me...
16 January 2012
Interview
OVER.
Just now at 10.30am, my interview ended and i'm supposed to be going fr class right now. Just wanted to say that it was alright though a little tensed and stuff but overall, it was pretty good. It was the first cut and there gonna be another cut on a second interview. Not sure if i'll get in but i'll keep my fingers crossed!
Just now at 10.30am, my interview ended and i'm supposed to be going fr class right now. Just wanted to say that it was alright though a little tensed and stuff but overall, it was pretty good. It was the first cut and there gonna be another cut on a second interview. Not sure if i'll get in but i'll keep my fingers crossed!
15 January 2012
Baking Cookies
We baked cookies just 20minutes ago and when i say 'we,' i mean my sister and my youngest brother. I'm just taking photos, too bad my camera doesn't have a good enough focus. No worries, i'm gonna buy a DSLR soon!!!! (after i save enough money of course)
Helped for only 1 minute...
That's the weird star we had in the end
GLEE - "We Are Young"
This song left me feeling a little blue when they said 'we are young... so let's set the world on fire, we'll burn brighter than the sun...'
I did it
I've let go a long time ago but yet there was still something that makes me look back time and again. It's not love, that i know. It's a sort of curiosity that perhaps something would happen if i did this or that.
People change and you have to change along with them. They move on and you have to do the same.
I've changed now. Along with the new year.
People change and you have to change along with them. They move on and you have to do the same.
I've changed now. Along with the new year.
I'm not looking back.
14 January 2012
CCA
I gotta find a CCA when the CCA showcase comes up later on this year. friend with me or not. I need to leave poly with a great portfolio
12 January 2012
Lie to Me Korean Drama
As i said in some posts ago, i bought this new drama called Lie To Me. I got to say, i love it! Hilarious, fun, romantic and gripping. I felt that the younger brother of the male protagonist though, didn't have any opportunity in the drama to develop. I actually hoped that he might have gotten a chance or something to go somewhere to pursue his dreams or he finally finds someone he wants to go after since his brother is no longer going to 'steal' his love no more.
Although towards the end, it got kinda weird, the episode was still filled with lots of jokes and touch of romance. (duh, it's a freaking rom-com!)
Although towards the end, it got kinda weird, the episode was still filled with lots of jokes and touch of romance. (duh, it's a freaking rom-com!)
The couple have rapport i gotta give them that but somehow it feels like there's a lack of 100%chemistry like Goong. Throughout the episodes, it was mainly the man angry/irritated at the woman and vice versa (which is ridiculously funny, not that i'm saying it's bad, made the whole plot very engaging).
A few were the intimate scenes like them about to kiss and being engulfed in each other's arms that sort of stuff. I wish that there would have been more dating scenes where we could see them being lovey dovey to make the overall drama fantastic as hell cause they were going through all odds to be together so seeing that 'together time' should have been reasonable.
Romance: 8.5/10
Comedy:9.5/10
Antagonists: 8.5/10
Chemistry:6.5/10
Story Plot: 9.5/10
Overall, 8.5/10
The Call by Regina Spektor
I heard this song as the credits for Narnia-Prince Caspian came up. It somehow touched my heart and left me feeling quite blue.
Interview
I have an interview to be a student of a special program in SP and i just found out about that now!!!! 16 Jan is the interview. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to somehow do some research about the program and do some stuff. I'm freaking nervous right now... I am so freaking nervous!!!!! >.<
I have to somehow do some research about the program and do some stuff. I'm freaking nervous right now... I am so freaking nervous!!!!! >.<
10 January 2012
Barney= Consipracy
Earlier, as i got off the escalator to the main storey of the Jurong Regional Library, there was some sort of mini art exhibition. I did not really care and started toward the exit when a cartain purple dinosaur caught my eye.
Barney!
The only barney episode i can remember is the one where they sang "butterfly butterfly happy all day, butterfly butterfly fly fly away."
I wasn't particularly a fan of Barney, I don't hate it, i don't love it. Anyways, back to the topic at hand, there was this art piece that caught my attention. Unfortunately, as i neared the piece of work, I felt that it kind of distorted the positive image of Barney.
I think those dotted lines at the sides are supposed to be zips to this 'costume'
Barney's smile a mask?
This is obviously unclear so here's what i can decipher:
Ever wondered that big bubbly Barney head could be a senseless faux pas? And that jaunty, big love bouncing around is to warp your mind in a sweet singing tone. His smile, as though a spontaneous,upward force pushing his cheeks up, is everlasting. When those things are materialised, it punctured long-held fantasies with actual possibilty, only to know that you've been played in a game of conspiracy when reality hits. The TV's only role is to ratify decisions and create an ideal imagery to conceive.
The media, such a mercurial force.
Should you still place your faith in such a whore?
For me, i thought WHAT???!: Yes, it may have cheated our feelings when we bought our own purple dinosaur from Toys R Us, we thought it would turn into the actual thing. But wasn't the whole point of Barney to encourage Imagination? Creativity?
And in my opinion, that spontaneous upward force is to say that no matter in times of stress or trouble, never stop smiling.
9 January 2012
Hard Work
I don't understand why some students only need a day or 2 to sink in things they need to study for an exam and come out one of the top few students while others who had to study weeks ahead come out slightly above the average. I understand that this is due to the power of the minds and that's the way we were all born but don't things balance out in the end? That hard work for those who put it in will have some kind of reward? It's just not fair. It feels like every leisure time you sacrificed, every sweat you produced and every tear you cried was nothing compared to one night some student needed to get a distinction.
It's just friggin
damn ya
I hate it really, when people jump loyalty. It's not a nice feeling when you're at the receiving end of this ridiculous shit. I freaking hate you
6 January 2012
SP Open House on Wednesday
Heads up to readers, this post has lots of singlish so if you're the type who's very into grammar and stuff, you know what to do :)
On Wednesday, as i was getting ready for my duty as the Bus Guide, i found out that my Secondary School was coming, Teck Whye Secondary. So... I tried to pace myself in a way that when i get my turn to take a bus on a tour, it would be my Secondary School.
Sooo, when my Secondary School did come, i was a very excited and also found out to my dismay that there were only going to be 4 buses. I looked at the first bus and freaked out saying that maybe i should take the 2nd one. The 2nd bus came and i said, oh my! the students in this bus looks serious so i decided on taking the 3rd bus. However, i skipped the 3rd one cause my sec 2 math teacher was inside (i don't like him the way he taught math, it was confusing and made me felt like killing myself). The 4th and final one came and my friend, Lina, said that either i go in now or there's really NO MORE buses from my school. But before i could get in, two other guides wanted to take that bus to guide but i insisted strongly that i really wanted to take it. and i got the bus!
It was Mr Lee Meng Teck, a math teacher too but did not taught me. Anyways, it was a nice crew of students but still quite a tough crowd, i'm not that great at public speaking much but over the last few days, i got better :) Anyways, while i was on the bus, Mr Lee told me that Mdm Pua was actually on the bus behind theirs and i was like WHAT!?! I nearly got in that bus damn it if i did not insist to take the bus the other 2 guides wanted to guide... I shouted a tad sadly, 'Man!!! I should have gone up the bus behind me!'
The students inside were like 'waahhh... Don't want us lah!!!!' and i said on the microphone i was holding 'NOO LAH!!!! My form teacher ma! I want to see her!!!' then they kind of understood :)
After the tour, i went back to the area where all the bus guides have to be and i vented out, shouted and explained that my form teacher was on the bus behind the bus that i was guiding... They half listened to my rant of course~
When our duties ended, i rushed my friends to the main area where my form teacher would be and called my form teacher to ask where she was so i could visit her. She said concentrate on my duties first :))
I rushed to the main area but still couldn't find her. It was soo frustrating and i was really sad that i couldn't find her. She's my favourite teacher ever in the whole wide world by the way.
My friend, Lina, and i went to patrol around the campus instead if the students might be lost or anything. Throughout the whole thing, i was wondering whether Mdm Pua have gone back to TWSS and the fact that i lost the chance to see her and talk to her about how much things have changed. It has been so many months since i saw her :(
It was nearing 5pm, where all secondary school students will be assembling at Foodcourt 5 to get back to their on respective schools. I was all the way at an opposite building getting my bag to go back home. 3 or 4 times, i would look through the windows or railings in the buliding i was at to look at the students assembling there unconciously.
I wanted to go back there but my friend didn't want to accompany me, the lazy girl... Suddenly, she said something about can tompang (ride along) the sec school bus home (she lives near me) then she'll accompany me to the assembling area. (the girl's got a motive one...) I tried calling several times but still couldn't reach her. My other friend, Claire, asked me to accompany her to get something from the room where we keep our bags cause she left something there. I said ok half dejectedly(cause Mdm Pua's still not answering the phone). Just as we reached the floor to get Claire's stuff, Mdm Pua answered the phone. I was so damned ecstatic! Seriously!
I asked whether i could tompang a ride home and she said yes and come quickly, i was already jumping like crazy with my voice at a higher decibel. I was shouting at my friend, Lina, if she's coming (cause she lives nearby) but she paiseh (shy). In the end, i waved goodbye to my friends, and ran to the Foodcourt 5 area to find my Fav Teacher who is going to board her sch bus soon.
I took a chance and went to the starbucks in foodcourt 5 to buy a cupcake for Mdm Pua.
However, they ran out of their packaging to put the cupcake in and had to ope that damned cupboard to get it. It was about 3 minutes but it felt like 7minutes and time was freaking running out. I got my cupcake and got to Mdm Pua who was at the door waving at me to hurry. I WAS JUST IN TIME :D
"HI MDM PUA!!!!!! HERE'S A CUPCAKE FOR YOU!!" i handed it to her and hugged her as well, miss her so much. She's the most caring teacher in the whole wide world :')
she was like, what!? It's very expensive right?! Keep it for yourself!
Me: NO! I bought it for you, eat it!
She accepted it in the end and we talked for a while like how's things, my friends, the recent 'O' levels, my 3.8 GPA etc. as we were waiting for the bus to come. It was taking forever like 10min plus as the buses were taking quite a while to come. I saw my sec 2 math teacher who asked me where the bus was and stuff. Then a student from the group that i guided on the bus just now came up to me and said "Mdm Pua is over there, faster go see her!" haha, that boy's so nice :)
Then the bus came and i asked Mdm Pua again if she was sure there's space cuz if not i can go back myself but she said "sure have! :)"
I went up on the bus with her and her current class, and she announced while on the bus the story about the fact that i was from a Normal Tech class, went to Normal Acad and got to Poly and have a nearly 4GPA. Also that i was the President of the class in Secondary School. Iwas very Paiseh sia!! The boy behind me said loudly, "Mdm Pua! She shy already la!!" The class also gave me claps for my 'achievements' plus i shouted "GO TECK WHYE!!!!" and they also clapped and hooted :) Come to think of it, i feel quite embarrased for doing that :)
On the way back to TWSS on the bus, Mdm Pua joked around and nagged at the kids. I watched and laughed at the antics of the students. Felt a little melancholy as well... I miss the times with my class and my teachers...
If i could turn back time, i will. And i will want to stay forever at the Secondary School 'period' or 'era'.
Anyways, as we reached school, she asked if i wanted to see Mdm Tong, my math teacher. I said YEAH OK!
We went inside the staff room and she said to teachers that i have a 3.8 GPA and they were wow... haha... This is what i miss about sec school, you get recognition for the work you do, for your hard work. And i thrive when i'm given attention, that's the way i work. I like the feeling that teachers are proud of me :)
Anyways, Mdm Tong went home already so i didn't get to see her. When it was nearing 6+pm where school is about to close, I saw Miss Lim, my other fav chemistry teacher, on the way out of the staff room and she was like "EH!! I actually saw someone going down the staircase with you but i thought she was your daughter! :)" I only managed to chat for a few seconds before i had to go. On the way out, Mdm Pua actually wanted to give me a ride on another teacher's car who is driving her home (cause she and the other teacher's going the same way), i said it's alright and bid her farewell "See you again soon!"
Then, just as i was about to leave, she shouted back that she left the cupcake on the table somewhere that i should go back to her desk and take it home to enjoy but i insisted that she eat it. So i went back to the staff room when a teacher exited the door (the door needs a card to open and i don't have it). I went down the spiral staircase, passed Miss Lim and got to Mdm Pua's desk intending to put it in the staff's lounge's fridge when Mdm Pua called and told me where the cupcake was and probably put it in the fridge in the staff's lounge. (great minds think alike :D) I wrote on the paper bag with a marker:
To Mdm Pua
Love
Cai Yun Enjoy~
P.s don't work too hard :)
(if i remember cleary, that's what i wrote)
I passed by my math teacher again to get to the lounge, "Hi Mr Liew".
"uhhh... Hi!" (i bet he can't even remember my name but i know he recognises me :) i was a lousy math student anyway haha)
I left the paper bag inside a fridge (there were 2), and left the lounge, passed Mr Liew's booth, passed Miss Lim and whispered Goodbye as she was talking to another collegue, went up the spiral staircase and started my way back home.
Texted Mdm Pua while at the bus stop:
Me: Cupcake's in the white coloured fridge! :) don't forget to eat that tmr~
Mdm Pua: Okok will savour every bite i take. Looks delicious. Will keep it for breakfast. Thks for your thoughtfulness *wink smiley face*
Me: Haha welcome :)
Somehow though, i don't think she remembered to eat it yesterday... She's my favourite teacher and all but i know for a fact that she's forgetful...
On Wednesday, as i was getting ready for my duty as the Bus Guide, i found out that my Secondary School was coming, Teck Whye Secondary. So... I tried to pace myself in a way that when i get my turn to take a bus on a tour, it would be my Secondary School.
Sooo, when my Secondary School did come, i was a very excited and also found out to my dismay that there were only going to be 4 buses. I looked at the first bus and freaked out saying that maybe i should take the 2nd one. The 2nd bus came and i said, oh my! the students in this bus looks serious so i decided on taking the 3rd bus. However, i skipped the 3rd one cause my sec 2 math teacher was inside (i don't like him the way he taught math, it was confusing and made me felt like killing myself). The 4th and final one came and my friend, Lina, said that either i go in now or there's really NO MORE buses from my school. But before i could get in, two other guides wanted to take that bus to guide but i insisted strongly that i really wanted to take it. and i got the bus!
It was Mr Lee Meng Teck, a math teacher too but did not taught me. Anyways, it was a nice crew of students but still quite a tough crowd, i'm not that great at public speaking much but over the last few days, i got better :) Anyways, while i was on the bus, Mr Lee told me that Mdm Pua was actually on the bus behind theirs and i was like WHAT!?! I nearly got in that bus damn it if i did not insist to take the bus the other 2 guides wanted to guide... I shouted a tad sadly, 'Man!!! I should have gone up the bus behind me!'
The students inside were like 'waahhh... Don't want us lah!!!!' and i said on the microphone i was holding 'NOO LAH!!!! My form teacher ma! I want to see her!!!' then they kind of understood :)
After the tour, i went back to the area where all the bus guides have to be and i vented out, shouted and explained that my form teacher was on the bus behind the bus that i was guiding... They half listened to my rant of course~
When our duties ended, i rushed my friends to the main area where my form teacher would be and called my form teacher to ask where she was so i could visit her. She said concentrate on my duties first :))
I rushed to the main area but still couldn't find her. It was soo frustrating and i was really sad that i couldn't find her. She's my favourite teacher ever in the whole wide world by the way.
My friend, Lina, and i went to patrol around the campus instead if the students might be lost or anything. Throughout the whole thing, i was wondering whether Mdm Pua have gone back to TWSS and the fact that i lost the chance to see her and talk to her about how much things have changed. It has been so many months since i saw her :(
It was nearing 5pm, where all secondary school students will be assembling at Foodcourt 5 to get back to their on respective schools. I was all the way at an opposite building getting my bag to go back home. 3 or 4 times, i would look through the windows or railings in the buliding i was at to look at the students assembling there unconciously.
I wanted to go back there but my friend didn't want to accompany me, the lazy girl... Suddenly, she said something about can tompang (ride along) the sec school bus home (she lives near me) then she'll accompany me to the assembling area. (the girl's got a motive one...) I tried calling several times but still couldn't reach her. My other friend, Claire, asked me to accompany her to get something from the room where we keep our bags cause she left something there. I said ok half dejectedly(cause Mdm Pua's still not answering the phone). Just as we reached the floor to get Claire's stuff, Mdm Pua answered the phone. I was so damned ecstatic! Seriously!
I asked whether i could tompang a ride home and she said yes and come quickly, i was already jumping like crazy with my voice at a higher decibel. I was shouting at my friend, Lina, if she's coming (cause she lives nearby) but she paiseh (shy). In the end, i waved goodbye to my friends, and ran to the Foodcourt 5 area to find my Fav Teacher who is going to board her sch bus soon.
I took a chance and went to the starbucks in foodcourt 5 to buy a cupcake for Mdm Pua.
"HI MDM PUA!!!!!! HERE'S A CUPCAKE FOR YOU!!" i handed it to her and hugged her as well, miss her so much. She's the most caring teacher in the whole wide world :')
she was like, what!? It's very expensive right?! Keep it for yourself!
Me: NO! I bought it for you, eat it!
She accepted it in the end and we talked for a while like how's things, my friends, the recent 'O' levels, my 3.8 GPA etc. as we were waiting for the bus to come. It was taking forever like 10min plus as the buses were taking quite a while to come. I saw my sec 2 math teacher who asked me where the bus was and stuff. Then a student from the group that i guided on the bus just now came up to me and said "Mdm Pua is over there, faster go see her!" haha, that boy's so nice :)
Then the bus came and i asked Mdm Pua again if she was sure there's space cuz if not i can go back myself but she said "sure have! :)"
I went up on the bus with her and her current class, and she announced while on the bus the story about the fact that i was from a Normal Tech class, went to Normal Acad and got to Poly and have a nearly 4GPA. Also that i was the President of the class in Secondary School. Iwas very Paiseh sia!! The boy behind me said loudly, "Mdm Pua! She shy already la!!" The class also gave me claps for my 'achievements' plus i shouted "GO TECK WHYE!!!!" and they also clapped and hooted :) Come to think of it, i feel quite embarrased for doing that :)
On the way back to TWSS on the bus, Mdm Pua joked around and nagged at the kids. I watched and laughed at the antics of the students. Felt a little melancholy as well... I miss the times with my class and my teachers...
If i could turn back time, i will. And i will want to stay forever at the Secondary School 'period' or 'era'.
Anyways, as we reached school, she asked if i wanted to see Mdm Tong, my math teacher. I said YEAH OK!
We went inside the staff room and she said to teachers that i have a 3.8 GPA and they were wow... haha... This is what i miss about sec school, you get recognition for the work you do, for your hard work. And i thrive when i'm given attention, that's the way i work. I like the feeling that teachers are proud of me :)
Anyways, Mdm Tong went home already so i didn't get to see her. When it was nearing 6+pm where school is about to close, I saw Miss Lim, my other fav chemistry teacher, on the way out of the staff room and she was like "EH!! I actually saw someone going down the staircase with you but i thought she was your daughter! :)" I only managed to chat for a few seconds before i had to go. On the way out, Mdm Pua actually wanted to give me a ride on another teacher's car who is driving her home (cause she and the other teacher's going the same way), i said it's alright and bid her farewell "See you again soon!"
Then, just as i was about to leave, she shouted back that she left the cupcake on the table somewhere that i should go back to her desk and take it home to enjoy but i insisted that she eat it. So i went back to the staff room when a teacher exited the door (the door needs a card to open and i don't have it). I went down the spiral staircase, passed Miss Lim and got to Mdm Pua's desk intending to put it in the staff's lounge's fridge when Mdm Pua called and told me where the cupcake was and probably put it in the fridge in the staff's lounge. (great minds think alike :D) I wrote on the paper bag with a marker:
To Mdm Pua
Love
Cai Yun Enjoy~
P.s don't work too hard :)
(if i remember cleary, that's what i wrote)
I passed by my math teacher again to get to the lounge, "Hi Mr Liew".
"uhhh... Hi!" (i bet he can't even remember my name but i know he recognises me :) i was a lousy math student anyway haha)
I left the paper bag inside a fridge (there were 2), and left the lounge, passed Mr Liew's booth, passed Miss Lim and whispered Goodbye as she was talking to another collegue, went up the spiral staircase and started my way back home.
Texted Mdm Pua while at the bus stop:
Me: Cupcake's in the white coloured fridge! :) don't forget to eat that tmr~
Mdm Pua: Okok will savour every bite i take. Looks delicious. Will keep it for breakfast. Thks for your thoughtfulness *wink smiley face*
Me: Haha welcome :)
Somehow though, i don't think she remembered to eat it yesterday... She's my favourite teacher and all but i know for a fact that she's forgetful...
5 January 2012
SP Open House
This year's open house is really great, in my opinion of course. The canvas goodie bags, the interesting career profiling, the helpful course counselling, great tours etc.
Also, i had a great time with my crew of the open house helpers, after all our duties finished, we talked about ghost stories and had a great laugh with some jokes :)
Plus, i got to meet my sec school form teacher while at the open house yesterday, Mdm Pua. YEAH!!! I'll tell more soon, gotta get to sleep for school early in the morning...
Also, i had a great time with my crew of the open house helpers, after all our duties finished, we talked about ghost stories and had a great laugh with some jokes :)
Plus, i got to meet my sec school form teacher while at the open house yesterday, Mdm Pua. YEAH!!! I'll tell more soon, gotta get to sleep for school early in the morning...
2 January 2012
Bought New Stuff
So i bought this yakult shaped/designed piggy bank.
On top of them are small pieces of paper taped to it. They're labeled 'Clothes,' 'Korea' and 'Bike.'
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a spender. and the only way i control myself is using a piggy bank. It has always worked since i was like 6?
As mentioned in previous posts, i want a bicycle. And i can't possibly get my Dad to pay for it cause he would then erupt saying that he bought one each for all my siblings & I and in the end they were all given away.
IN MY DEFENCE:
For that pink bottle labeled 'Clothes' yeah, you should get what i'm trying to say. Just saving money and if i ever see something i like, i'll use the money in there. It's kinda like emergency clothes savings :)
On top of them are small pieces of paper taped to it. They're labeled 'Clothes,' 'Korea' and 'Bike.'
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a spender. and the only way i control myself is using a piggy bank. It has always worked since i was like 6?
As mentioned in previous posts, i want a bicycle. And i can't possibly get my Dad to pay for it cause he would then erupt saying that he bought one each for all my siblings & I and in the end they were all given away.
IN MY DEFENCE:
- The bicycles he bought for us were great but it turned out to be slow
- I prefered something feminine looking but it was big and red
- HE gave the bicycles away, NOT US (the inncoent pitiful children)
For that pink bottle labeled 'Clothes' yeah, you should get what i'm trying to say. Just saving money and if i ever see something i like, i'll use the money in there. It's kinda like emergency clothes savings :)
1 January 2012
Hopes for 2012
It's the new year alright. With new expectations for oneself etc. The main thing here would be what are my resolutions for the next year? ahh... so here's the thing. I'm not gonna have any. Why you might ask? Well, i've read in an article from CLEO the other day that 88% of all resolutions end in failure.
Ergo, I've decided to lower the bar. I wrote down Hopes for 2012 instead in my journal yesterday. Here they are:
Anyways, I'm just a LITTLE BIT sad that 2011 ended even though i didn't like it that much. Probably won't like 2012 either but we'll see.
Ergo, I've decided to lower the bar. I wrote down Hopes for 2012 instead in my journal yesterday. Here they are:
- Be more
activecommunicative (is that even a word?) Be more mindful of others' feelings(scratch that. What was i thinking, i'm always mindful)- Get a bike
- Get a boyfriend (this goes back to point one: communicate more)
- Relax more (I'm easily stressed)
- Get a life :) (I'm always either studying or watching TV)
- Be more
carefreeflexible - Try not to act more before thinking
Anyways, I'm just a LITTLE BIT sad that 2011 ended even though i didn't like it that much. Probably won't like 2012 either but we'll see.
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