I am so scared of life right now. I have topics to finish. Chapters to memorise. Graphs to understand. Theory to get in my head. I feel like everthing that's cramped in my head right now is well, fragile. That's they may disappear from my head if i do not recap. I'm just so scared that everything will fall down. That i'd break down soon enough. Yesterday, i started to break down after such a long time. And what's more, no tears.
Maybe a drop or two but other than that, it's just a strangled cry. I'm trying to keep it strong but that is just so hard to accomplish. I feel like i'm going to be breaking down any minute. I'm just so scrared that i'd end up like my cousin. She studied until her head just stopped working. That's my nightmare. And since mental illness is hereditary, I'm scared i'd end up like her.
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