No Surprise There

Everyone in my life know that i am a very private person. Maybe on my Facebook, i reveal my favourite movies and some statuses i allow to go public but beyond that, i don't reveal much about myself to others-on the internet and outside.

Even when i socialise which i love doing (only with the right people) don't like to talk much about myself because one of the many things i've learned in life is that:

1. People you have just met, don't really care to know that much unnecessary details about you
2. Shining the 'conversation spotlight' on someone else makes them want to talk more and slowly like you 

For the latter, i've done so many times and at the end of the day, always seem to get the phrase "Don't tell anyone what i told you! Why did i say that anyway?"

Sometimes, it's much more fun listening to someone else's story than talk about my own.

Opposites do not always Attract

"Opposites always attract!" Yancy argued.

"No, they don't, it doesn't make any sense, I've read this statistic that said opposites don't attract at all," I pointed out.

"Well, my mom and dad are opposites and they're still together!" She waved her hands about as if that proves her point.

"Have you heard of the phrase Birds of a feather flock together?" I stated as my blood began to boil and this started a burning question in my mind that would trouble me for a while.

So which is true? The term 'opposites attract' or 'birds of a feather flock together'? For me, i agree with the latter. Of course there is some truth to it but i will elaborate on that a little further later on. Firstly, statistics have shown that couples with the common interests tend to stay together longer, if they have different outlooks on life with differences that seem too much to comprehend, the relationship is unlikely to last. If a couple is different, it is much easier to get into conflicts and destroy the relationship. You may say that it's due to the fact that the relationship dynamics in play is screwed up but i beg to differ. How many times have couples broken up over the fact that they had different goals or said that they did not match?

Take Joanne Peh and Bobbi Tonelli for instance, though i like the fact they look great together, they broke up in the end due to the fact that they 'viewed marriage differently'. You see, Joanne is the type of girl who believes in marriage, that once you're in love, marriage is something that ties together the whole 'happily-ever-after' ending. Ever since she got together with Bobbi, she said that marriage is 'just a piece of paper' etc. etc. etc. She changed and when she realised that, as well as noticing that she began to feel like they couldn't really communicate as well as before, she broke up with him.

So what is the factor at play here? Da Da Dum!

THEY WERE DIFFERENT

Lets just rule out the probability that they could have simply drifted apart and focus on one thing we know is obvious to anyone: the differences. Common interests keep a couple longer together because they have similar interests, values and hobbies which they can do together which in turn, strengthens their relationship. You don't get that with someone who is your polar opposite where you would most likely end up each doing your own thing and eventually drifting apart. 

That said, of course you can't go out there searching for anyone who's exactly like you. You need a little something different and that's where the 'Opposites Attract' come into play

You can't have someone totally similar to you cause that's kind of like a brother/sister kind of relationship and no one really wants that. The different things in your partner would be what would attract you to him/her. A difference that won't be too little nor too large that would cause disparities in the relationship. It has to be just right. 

Haunting Reality

I woke up with a tear stained face, breathing heavily as the remnants of my dream kept charging at me like an endless wave. I looked up at the clock to see that it was only 4AM.

In the dream, my mum passed away, leaving the whole family behind, leaving me vulnerable and defenseless and i felt as if i lost all hope. She might not know it but my mum is the steady rock that has kept me sane in this fast-paced ever-changing world. Back when i was 17, i had trouble sleeping because i was suffering from depression, a mild one at least, that gave me the gift of insomnia. Many nights, I'd wake up panting and short of breath with my heart pounding against my chest, as if it was hammering its way out.. On those nights when i couldn't sleep, all i had to do was just go to my parent's room and sit on the floor next to her while she's in bed, sleeping. My heart would miraculously calm instantly, knowing that it wouldn't be eaten out alive that night because my mom was there. And somehow, she would wake up, knowing i was there and comfort me, making sure i go back to  sleep. I stopped doing it when my dad told me my mom was worried sick about me that she too ended up not sleeping. So i stopped going to her, not wanting her to worry anymore. Of course the nightmares never stopped, i kept dreaming of murder and death, and ultimately waking up with my heart racing. Every. Single. Night. Everything ended only when the exams were over. Yes, the root of all the pain came from the desire to do well in school. Fortunately, now, i have learnt to overcome that.

Anyways, after wiping the tears away and going back to sleep, the dream continued. Except that this time around, my sister passed away and my mother was on the verge of dying. I was literally thinking to myself "Why is everybody in my dreams tonight dying??" 

My sister is practically my best friend, she knows everything there is to know about me, my likes and dislikes, my temperament, my pet peeves, the times i'm joking even though i look serious, she understands my joke unlike my friends who could never for the life of them, understand what i'm trying to say. She's been there ever since i could remember. We're pretty close, only a year apart. We have our own best friends but i know in my heart, that we're each other's BFFs and that we'll always be there for each other. She's not the mushy type, she's not even a hugger so if she ever sees what i wrote here, she'd go "Eeee so disgusting! Why'd you write that??"

Well that's her for you.

So where was i? right, the dream.. I woke up from that dream too with another tear stained face as well as a tear soaked pillow. I wonder how i looked like crying while i slept, wish i'd had a video to watch it, oh well...

I couldn't stop thinking about it since so to remember this surreal experience, i've decided to record this into a blog post, maybe 20 years from now i'd read this blog post again and remember this day..

Taking a Trip To Telunas

Last September, I had the opportunity to be a part of a camp where i had a taste of nature, was isolated from the outside world and experienced many adventures which would turn out to be memories i forever will hold. 4 groups of students, about 15-20 per group, including myself, took a boat down to Telunas, Riau Island and had a 3 day camp there. 

Map

That small red balloon is where Telunas is located where we travelled all the way from Singapore which is at the top of the picture

Firstly, let me brief you in on its history... Telunas is located at one of Indonesia's mini islands, it was bought by an Ang Moh who turned the island into a getaway or leadership camp hotspots. One of the Singapore Polytechnic (SP) lecturers actually found the island and recommended it to the board to be the place for future SPOT (Singapore Polytechnic Outstanding Students) students to have their leadership camp in. And that's how this yearly camp tradition began for every 2nd year SPOT students. SPOT is actually a program to grow students to be a Leader, Humanitarian and Communicator, I'm lucky to be a part of it :) Fortunately or unfortunately, the spouse of the SP lecturer is from Ngee Ann Polytechnic (NP), SP's rival school and she also recommended it for some of their camps.

Upon arrival, we were treated to their speciality drink which consisted of some fruits i guess, it was a lil sour to me so i gave up on trying to finish it after a few sips. Immediately after the briefing which consisted of the lunch time, merchandise store etc. we proceeded to our bunks. Each bunk has about 8 beds and one toilet inside the bunk, you'd think it's dirty or something because this place is on some island but it's quite clean and beautiful, it's too bad i didn't bring any cameras with me, not even my handphone to take a photo :(

The reason why was because my leader, Issac, said that we should not depend on technology in this next 2 or 3 days and just enjoy ourselves. I'm glad i heeded his advice because that was one of the best decisions i have ever made. The 3 days were wonderful, i immersed myself into the beauty that was this island. Fortunately, one of the girls, brought along her Nikon Coolpix which helped take the next few photos that i'm about to show you :) Photo credits go to Alexandria, thanks babe!

The Beautiful Wonders that is this Island

The planks we had to walk on had quite a gap (about 4 or 5cm) so for the first 2 days, i would make sure that i don't step on the gaps but eventually, i realised i was being a little paranoid that i'd fall through and ended up running on them by the 3rd day.

These walkways and wooden cabins were super beyond the coast and thousands of feet (i'm exaggerating but it feels that way since i can't swim) above the sea floor. So you can understand my paranoia.

this photo was taken below the dock where we jumped off to do our jetty jump. IT WAS AWESOME...

A Fragile Life

Life is so fragile.. And it took me this long to grapple with the concept of our mortality. We do not live forever but still, we go on with our daily lives as if we do, as if the thought of death never entered our minds. And only when we’ve come face to face with it are we struck by that sudden moment of realisation. That no matter how much we try to prolong our existence in this world, one day we’d still have to leave, and it’d be too sudden, too without notice, with a heart still full of ambitions, things to see and many people we have yet to love… With today’s advancements in technology, we’re given an illusion of immortality, that we could fight death.. when in fact, these are things we simply cannot avoid, that cannot be controlled and it’s not something we could embrace easily either. This could sound cliche but the only thing we can do is live each day to the fullest, because we never really know when it would be our last.