A Perfect 10

"Let yourself move to the next chapter in life when the time comes, don't remain stuck on the same page."

Counting Down

10 days. It's exactly 10 days before my internship begins. An acquaintance of mine actually counted the total number of days the internship will last so that it'd give him a sort of countdown. 

He said it was about 5 months and a few extra days. When i first heard that, i actually threw my head back in laughter. I couldn't believe he spent his precious time just trying to count how many days of work he had to carry out. I could tell though, that he wasn't at all looking forward to his internship period, more like dreading them. 

As for me, i'm not sure how i feel. All i know is that i love the place i am going to intern in. The place is actually pretty nice, the people are friendly, the boss is friendly but also wise and serious. The location is pretty good, i actually have a direct bus home from work. The salary is also satisfactory. I couldn't think of anyplace better to be interning in. 

I'm pretty sure shit would get thrown here or there somehow but i know i'll be able to learn a thing or two. Besides, i have a good supervisor leading me, i guess i should be in good hands. 

Change

"Just 4 more semestral exams to go before i don't have to take one anymore. Just 4 more and I'm free!" I told myself back in 2011 when i was a year 1 student in Singapore Polytechnic. Back then, i, like every other student, was trying to cram every single information from our notes to prepare ourselves for the end of semester examination. So to make myself feel better, i counted down every semester of how many examinations i had left to go through before i finally graduate and didn't have to take them anymore. 

Now that everything is finally over, i'm starting to feel anxious as each day pass. I guess i might feel this way because i don't know what to expect. Because it's a new change. I'm changing into a different gear and i don't know how i should begin.

Change is definitely a scary thing. Nobody likes them. And in my dictionary, there are 2 reasons why:

Comfort

Where we are now, the routine things we do everyday brings a little consistency in our lives. Even if it may not be healthy or enjoyable, these are things we are familiar with, putting ourselves in our own little comfort zones. And people inevitably try to avoid being in uncomfortable situations.

Fear

For many people, change represents the unknown and that is scary. Take someone i know for example, we'll call her Lyanne. Lyanne wanted to be a teacher so she applied to be one from the Ministry of Education (MOE), unfortunately, she fumbled in her interview and didn't get a place. A year later, she tried again. This time she practiced long and hard for the interview, 110% sure her passion in this arena would be seen by her panel of interviewers. Unfortunately, 3 months later, she received via email that she had been rejected. Lyanne told me she had no idea what she should do. "I had always wanted to be a teacher, now, i don't know where else i should go..." trying to keep her tears in.

It was a new change. She had reached a road block and she needed to shift gears but all she was doing was standing there desperately waiting for the wall to crumble down by itself. Of many things i have learnt in life, there is one important one. There are many paths that reach the same destination. "The MOE may not be your only route to your passion, there's so many other opportunities, you just have to take a look around and see it for yourself," patting her back, trying to comfort her.

A few weeks later, she initiated a bond with the child care centre she was working. In the agreement, she will be able to take a child care diploma course in the afternoon which would be paid entirely by the child care centre and in the morning, help out at the centre. Afterwards, she would be bonded with the centre for 3.5 years. Her road ahead may be difficult but at the very least, she is doing what she loves.

So i guess what i'm trying to say is, don't be afraid of change, things happen for a reason and even though the reason may hurt, it'll all turn out okay in the end. 

Moving On to a New Phase

So here's the big one, even though i'm going to be terrified of going in to my new workplace, meet and make new friends who would be so many years my senior, i'm going to give it my all. This change would be for the best because as cliche as it sounds, "What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger."

So here's a song to end this post~

A Change Would Do You Good

Singleton

I do a great job at being single, actually very experienced in that field. Now that i'm almost going to reach the big 2-0 in a few days, the fear of never having someone special on my side gnawed me. Sometimes when i'm just taking a stroll outside or at the shopping mall and see a couple being even remotely romantic, i'd give a mental f**k you.

I just don't get it. Sometimes you'd see a not so pretty girl with a hot guy or an average guy with a hot girl and it just makes you wonder, "What the hell happened that got them together?" I just don't get it! What IS their secret?

There was one time when i thought if i should have standards on who i want as a boyfriend but then i re-analysed that and decided, to heck with that! We're choosing someone who would be our partner for the rest of our lives, i think we have a right to be picky. We shouldn't settle for someone we have no special feelings for because both parties would just end up miserable, leading to slow and painful death for the relationship. For example, my friend, Wendy, finally relented and started going out with a guy who kept chasing her for almost 3 months. Fortunately, it lasted only an excruciating 2 or 3 weeks because she didn't really feel comfortable being just alone with him. Every time they went on a date, she'd bring along another friend. AWKWARD. The way i saw it was she went out with him because she wanted a boyfriend since she never had one before. And the both of them ended up no longer being friends. Sad isn't it?

As for me, you can say i had my share of experiences but it's nothing actually. My first confession was at my secondary school canteen. It was after physical education and i sat down on a bench with 2 other girls and one guy from my class. We started chatting and just as i was drinking from a bottle, the guy blurted out to me to be his girlfriend. And i choked on the water. The other two girls just stared at him. I wiped myself off and asked him to repeat what he said but he just kept quiet. Oh well..

My second confession was by a stranger and it was weird. Click here for the story but scroll to the fifth point on 'romance'.

Then there were times when it wasn't a confession but things that led up to one. I had 4 and i sorely wished that i liked at least one because they are all really nice guys but just weren't for me.

Guy 1: Texted me good morning and asked me how my day was every day until it started getting creepy. And how do i know how my day was when it hasn't even started yet?
Guy 2: Asked me out to lunch every Wednesday of the week without fail despite telling him i had something on every Wednesday.
Guy 3: Played 'Love Story' on the guitar for me one night when we were studying together and walked me home. Texted me a lot of times.
Guy 4: A good friend who i know likes me but never confessed because he knew i'd turn him down

I actually liked guy 3 for a while but he never confessed or anything no matter how many hints i gave him until i eventually gave up. Months later, my guy friend of mine told me guy 3 definitely liked me but was probably shy which was why he didn't make a big gesture or anything. But the moment had passed...

You know what, I think i'd do a fantastic job at being a girlfriend! I love to read books, watch action movies and romantic comedies, i love the great outdoors, take me bungee jumping and i'll say "WHEN?" I love trying new things and i actually don't mind if my would-be-boyfriend told me he watches porn sometimes. Because, come on, which guy doesn't? There's so many great things about me, so CUPID, come on!!! Give me a great guy already! It's not like i'm asking for much, just handsome, faithful, tall, humorous, loves to watch movies and must also like reading books so when we have a vacation by the beach, we'd just sit next to each other with our legs intertwined while we read our books. ALSO, he must loove trying new things with me like tango, art class or tandem skydiving. CUPID, ARE YOU COPYING ALL THIS DOWN?

Ok, maybe i have a short temper but that's just a small issue :)

Green Eyed

A friend of mine is going to Taiwan with her friend soon and it'd be a twin solo trip, not taking part in any form of packaged tour. To be honest, i'm jealous because i also want to go somewhere with my best friend. We had actually decided to go to Thailand but no plans is underway at the moment and I fear she might end up saying she don't want to go there in the end. 

And to be even more honest, i'm actually pretty mad at myself because i told myself that i wanted to take a solo trip to Australia but haven't even started on any plans yet. All i've been doing in the past month or so is accumulate brochures about Australia and piling them up on my study table. I told myself that i wanted to get up and start planning this solo trip but i'm actually afraid to. I'm afraid to take the first step...

Any marriage is built and shaped by two different, sinful people adjusting to one another. You simply will never find a human being who is pre-packaged to fit your every personality quirk, cultural preference or lifestyle particularity. Every couple will have differences and will need to make adjustments for one another. No one will ever be everything you want, but there’s probably more than one person who has the basics in common with you and would make for a great marriage. And here’s the best part: the more work you and your spouse are willing to put into your marriage, the more joyful it will be.

-Relevant Mag

What I Miss About The Old Days

I just saw a post on Facebook from 90s Babies Only page and it instantaneously made me miss my childhood. How much fun the old times was and how funny that we thought our life back then was so difficult when it was actually the most easiest and freest period of our length of time in this world. When the world still revolved around us. When people we know or love still haven't passed on yet. When we were still innocent and viewed the world in rose tinted glasses. When we loved everything and everyone 101%, welcoming new things with open arms, always taking that jump without hesitating and never doubting or consider what would happen next. We were fearless.

And the best things about my childhood? The games and the TV shows. i gotta say, my childhood would have been dull without them all. Thank you for the wonderful times life (yes i'm referring to life as a third person).

The PowerPuff Girls

The Berenstain Bears

From top left going clockwise: Sailormoon, Garfield, (i don't know the next one), Doraemon, Cardcaptor Sakura and Detective Conan.

Wild Thornberry

Lizzie Mcguire

The Magic School Bus

Bubu Cha Cha

Recess

Scooby Doo

Arthur

Bear in Big Blue House

Totally Spies

Lazy Town

As Told By Ginger

Bananas in Pyjamas

Rocket Power

Braceface

Sabrina

Tom and Jerry

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

Power Rangers Galaxy

Thank you for all the shows/movies, whoever the creators of them all are :')

Right now, all i'm thinking about is that i should be studying for my examination for the coming Tuesday. Unfortunately, all i want to do is procrastinate. And just for today, all i feel like doing is grab my bike and cycle somewhere... find some nice beautiful quiet place to take a seat, kick off my shoes and enjoy the view with nothing in my mind. Just let the breeze brush past my hair and feel the sandy ground on my feet. Because i want to escape reality for a short while. At least for a few seconds...

Wanting to Fly
Cai Yun

Don't Forget To Live Your Life

Lift your head up from your work every now and then and take a long walk, hold hands with your beloved, go fishing, spend time with your friends, swim, bask in the sunlight, try something new, meditate, breathe deep, or sit quietly for a while and contemplate the goodness around you.

In other words, balance yourself – work diligently toward your goals and dreams, but don’t ignore every other aspect of your life.  Keep your mind fresh, your body active and alive, and your relationships nurtured.  Do so, and the things you want most in life will come more naturally.

-Marc and Angel

Before Genting Part I

So ladies and gentlemen, you all know that i went to Genting a few months back and it was both a crazy and memorable (half good half bad way) experience that i would never ever forget. Now i will relay to you what happened and so i call this story...

"The days in Genting of 2012"

But before you can understand what happened in the 2 and a half days there, you need to know what happened before. So lets rewind back 3 weeks when the whole family decided to go to Genting.

It was a Sunday afternoon, all the kids were just lazing around in the house enjoying the heat slash rain of Sunday blues and dreading the coming Monday. I wasn't around at the time but my sister, Rin, and brother, Danial, were talking about the holidays approaching and that they had nothing to do. They talked and talked and the topic landed on: "When was the last time we went out as a family out of Singapore for the holidays?" The answer was years ago, back to even before my youngest brother was born. The fact is it HAS been a long time since we went overseas together.

So filled with the need to have a family vacation overseas, what do you get when you combine one stubborn mule of the family (Danial) with a girl who always speak logically pieced nonsensical garbage (Rin)?

YOU GET AN EPIC DEBATE.

PARENTS VS CHILDREN

The rest of us 3 children (my 2 brothers and i) had to pick a side so we chose the side that would most benefit us so yeah... WE WANNA GO OVERSEAS TOO! We proceeded to plan our course of action and then told our parents to meet us at the debate table (which was actually our dining table) at 1700 hours sharp.

Background Information:
Eldest, Female: Rin (20)
Second, Female: Me (19)
Third, Male: Danial (16)
Fourth, Male: Dhamir (14)
Fifth, Male: Iman (7)

-1600 hours-
All 5 of us locked ourselves in a room and started our plan of action.

-1604 hours-
One man down (Iman) who came up with "yay go overseas!" and started playing with his toys because we were discussing in his room

The rest continued to brainstorm ideas

-1610 hours-
Our points:

• Haven't been overseas for holidays in years
• Always in Singapore during holidays

After re-reading it though, we realised that they meant practically the same god damned thing.

-1630 hours-
2 more men down: Dhamir who couldn't be bothered anymore and laid on the bed to sleep or something. And me who laid down on the carpet to daydream.

The remaining two charged forward and decided to discuss on counter arguments instead

• money can earn again
• don't need to be anywhere far
• we need a memorable childhood experience

It goes without doubt that we were screwed.

-To Be Continued-

Cause baby you're a Firework

Living In The Dark

Anything but the Road

If someone were to ask me what i would do if i could live forever, my answer would be to continuously learn new things. I would continually take new courses and even degrees, from business, to psychology to arts and the sciences. I would do that if i could live forever. I've a thirst for knowledge and all i need is time. And the money of course.

Last night, i even planned what i wanted to take during my Internship period, even made a list of the things to learn/do before i'm too old to do them:

1. Perfect my Malay language because all my life, i've been speaking the basics
2. Perfect my Chinese some day because i'm always embarrassed speaking them in front of my father's friends and my friends/acquaintances
3. Learn to speak conversational French (to sound sophisticated)
4. Learn to speak conversational Korean so i could watch Korean dramas more easily (like understanding their inside jokes which simply couldn't be translated easily into English)
5. Learn Sign Language
6. Take a Lifeguard course so i could save someone's life if that ever happens. A second chance at life is a wonderful thing.
7. Take an Oil painting course, all beginner, intermediate and advanced level
8. Take up Aikido so i can learn to protect myself 
9. Take up either Taekwondo or Mixed Martial Arts so i can learn to counterattack my attacker

And that's all i currently have in my to do list. Mind you, i will do them. I'm actually going to sign up after my upcoming examinations (which i should be studying for right now) for beginner's swimming lesson at the Happy Fish Swimming School to work toward point number 6-getting a lifeguard certificate. 

They're going to be expensive but it's all going to be worth it. Money isn't everything, i'll just take baby steps but i know for sure that i'll get there one day.

Unfortunately, no matter how much i thirst for knowledge, there's one two things i would never do: Number 1, learn how to drive and Number 2, learn anything that is remotely related to mathematics i.e. engineering. ugghh, hate that word. I'm scared of driving even though i like looking at the Volkswagen Beetle, Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder or a Porsche. I look at the zooming cars on the streets during peak hours and all i could think of is "Oh my god, how do they do this?"

Really, i'm terrified of driving. Even the thought of it makes me queasy. And don't even talk about Mathematics. During my secondary school days, my best friend had been nothing but patient with my lousy math skills. All she ever says is that she was always frustrated when she had to coach me through the questions. I HATE MATH AND ALWAYS WILL. But surprisingly, i love accounting. Still, i hate maths, especially you logarithm. and integration. and depreciation. and solving integers. and.... Oh gosh, there's just too many of them!

To Travel or Die Trying

I love to travel. Like many a people, our dreams are to travel the world, see things we never would in our homeland, sharpen our taste buds, make new friends and ultimately enjoying the wonders of nature and life outside our own. That has always been my dream as a kid when people asked me what i want in life and among my top three, one of them was to travel the world. The other two being finding a wonderful faithful gorgeous husband and having a career i love.

Which is why my interests have always wavered in between jobs that might get me into the 'travel the world' kind of business. What i'm studying now is Events Management and this job alone requires some transportation to and fro sometimes to another country. Even my internship interview asked me if i was okay travelling to another country when it would be required of me. I love that part of this job. I may not stay long in this industry though because i'm not really into events. What i love, is when i have to travel for my job. For example, air stewardess, events manager or something in a cruise ship etc. Anything that can bring me into a whole new world.

I don't know why but there is something in me that want to go somewhere. I need to go overseas at least once a year or i would feel like my life's slipping away. It's not a want, more like a need. Or i'd feel uneasy.

The things i most look forward to in all my trips are connections, people i would potentially make friends with. Without a doubt, you have to be careful, safety is a priority but not to the extent where we avoid trying to make connections with people. We were taught at a young age to not talk to strangers but lets face it, such a thing doesn't apply to our adult lives. It simply does not make any sense. Everyone is a stranger unless you give them a chance. You never know, that person may just end up being your friend. And if it doesn't feel right, you can simply just walk away.

Ultimately, all i want is to experience the world at its finest. Oh come on, we should enjoy all we can in this short life we have.

What I'd Do If i Have 6 Hours Left to Live

6 hours can mean a lifetime to someone who knows he has a few hours left to live. Sometimes, i think that knowing how much time you have left in the world might be a good thing. It gives you the sort of motivation to do the things you always end up pushing off. It reminds you that life is short and to do the things you love.

Unlike the natural cases where the harsh wind suddenly blow the light off your candle without any notice, you have a chance to control the things you could do in your remaining time. 

So i came up with this post called 'What  I'd Do If i Have 6 Hours Left to Live' which starts 1200 and ends at 1800. Let the hypothetical final game begin...

1200 Set off to my old secondary school in a taxi who will be my personal driver for the day because i have no time to take public transport

1210 Find my favourite old teachers and say my final goodbyes and tell them how they changed my life

1230 Take the taxi to my primary school (while in the taxi, i would write a hate letter to the teacher who always bullied and hated me)

1240 Pass the letter to the general office and eat my favourite Mee Soto 

1250 Drive to Orchard road (During the ride, i will post on Facebook to thank everyone who was a part of my life, for all the lessons they taught me and for everything they have done, it would also include a special calling out to all the friends who impacted me)

1330 Arrive at Orchard road and shop for a beautiful outfit to wear for the rest of the day with friends i called beforehand to hang out with

1430 Eat my final lunch with my closest friends

1500 Bid my goodbyes, go to the main street and hug a hot guy and apologising afterwards for thinking he was someone else and drive to Sentosa Beach (During the ride, i'd write future letters for my family to read every new year's day) I would try to write as many as i could

1540 Arrive at Sentosa Beach and pay the taxi for the total cab fare which god knows how much. He would probably tell me to not pay him considering i'm 'dying'

1550 Arrive at bbq party my family and i had planned to have at the Sentosa beach and hang out together, play a little water and have a long chit chat. Talk about old times and all the heart to heart talk. I would then pass to them the letters to which i'd tell them to open them year by year which i've indicated on the letter which one to read. Afterwards, we would just hang out together until i catch my last breath.